I've encountered quite a few stressful, negative experiences in running, but still am standing strong thanks to willpower and a little help from others. Here's a few examples of how it's panned out.
The high school cross country season has begun. My boys team was picking up from where they left off last year, placing 2nd in the state championship. We had 2 of our top runners graduate, but had some solid runners coming up that could easily fill their spots once they get into shape this season. That's when I ran into the disappointment. A few boys, juniors and seniors in high school (of course), decided they would rather not bother with sports and instead be lazy all year. I spoke with each of them to get a better understanding of what the hell was going on and what their crazy minds were thinking. Though each was slightly different, it boiled down to them becoming lazy bums over the summer. Needless to say this was a serious blow to my other boys who had been focused on this season, running all year to prepare, and a serious let down to me as a coach. I realized two things: 1.) These guys are wasting their abilities and opportunities for the gain of nothing and they are letting down their team. 2.) These clowns came from under my coaching. Had I failed them? How had they "learned" such a great work ethic in season and then thrown it away so easily? Their decision making brain isn't developed yet and maybe that's to blame...
I stepped back and realized that the focus was not to be cast on the quitters or blaming myself for their decisions. It's more positive to reevaluate the new team, motivate and unite them and push ahead. The kids on the team this year are great kids. Some have very little running experience, some eat/sleep/breathe running, but I see a lot ahead for all of them. So we're moving on together.
Another example of pushing the negativity aside was after Mollie's and my half marathon race during the hurricane last weekend. I never thought they would hold the race with the winds as high as they were. I guess they do have money to make though, so they were willing to keep it as scheduled. Rain, well, rain is fine. I like running in the rain (minus the heavy shoes). Wind, well, I hate the wind. Needless to say, and as you read in Mollie's post, our times were much slower than we had anticipated. Even though we both ran a PR, neither of us were happy. I remember saying to Mollie in the car on the way, "I haven't focused on this race at all". That darn hurricane had thrown us all off, stressing about our house flooding, finding hotels to stay at, worrying about finances... I usually spend a little time each day anticipating a race that is a few days out. Instead, we were suddenly on the start line and the gun went off- "Good luck, and here have some wind in your face for at least an hour". Oh yes, and of course the unexpected 1+ mile hill at the end- "Take that!". Mollie and I walked back to the car after the finish, both of us disappointed. Mollie had a big mark to hit, dropping below 1:30. I just wanted to run around a 7:10 pace through the race. We skipped the cool down, pissed off.
As we got back to the hotel and Bella was there waiting for us with a wagging tail, I realized it was a crazy experience that we can talk about for a while. Hey, at least we didn't just sit around in our house all weekend watching the water rise in our garage! As Mollie and I chilled out the rest of the day, I quickly began putting the negative thoughts behind me. I knew I had to keep training hard and work toward the goal I set. We couldn't let one tune up race with all sorts of crazy variables bum us out and make us question our ability or training. That's when a runner starts to fall apart- when you question yourself and your training plan and "buy out" of your program.
Though I'm frustrated at times with my performance levels, overall, I'm feeling positive and pushing the negativity aside. I know we are making big improvements. I'm watching Mollie just get faster and faster, and I'm dropping a lot too from where I started (slow town, USA). I'm excited for our marathon in the beginning of October. We will show up and accomplish new things for ourselves and we will have done it together!
