Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Pee Man & The Marathon

This past weekend was a great one. We were able to spend a lot of time with the family doing all sorts of fun things. Mollie will write about the marathon first, because with her amazing finish, she deserves the first post. However, I need to mention one of the weirdest things I've seen.

This disgusting event occurred at the start line of the race. Mollie and I are lined at the start, with only one row of bodies in front of us. We ran up about 3 minutes before the race started to grab our spot. To my left, I've been eyeing this man who had ridiculously short shorts on, was built as though he was a 50+ year old man who has run his entire life and had a beard and sunglasses on. I don't know what type of top he had on because he was wearing a black lawn-trash bag over his entire upper body with a head hole cut out and his arms by his side coming down out of the bottom of the bag (that's not the weird part). He was hopping around, shifting his weight, legs moving to keep his body warm, not an unusual start line activity. At this point the most disgusting event occurred. I looked to my left with my head facing forward, as not to look like I was staring, and watched the man take an empty water bottle, put it up the right inside short leg and then I watched the bottle magically fill with a liquid that resembled apple juice. My God, this man was peeing in a bottle. I immediately thought to myself, well the race is going to start in about 1.5 minutes and the porta-potty line is long, so "you gotta do what you gotta do". With no hesitation, like it was an everyday action, the man removed the bottle from under his shorts and lifted it toward his face.
At this point, standing about 4 feet away, I was staring straight at him, with my jaw dropped. He took that bottle and pounded all of its contents. He took that pee straight to the face, people. I could not believe what I just saw. I started saying out loud, "That guy just drank his pee!" I repeated it over and over again, grabbing Mollie and making her look. She was not happy with my distracting her from her pre-race focus, but I could not help it. I didn't ask for this distraction either! I was just eye-raped by this pee-drinker! Gross! We both watched the guy put down the bottle on the asphalt, nonchalantly, and take off his trash bag tuxedo. Holy crap that was nasty- he clearly wasn't hydrated. After that interesting event, I had about 30 seconds to get my head straight, focused back on the race. Then, a countdown over the p.a. rang out- "5-4-3-2-1-hoooorrnnnn"- the race began...

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